i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
