Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
