Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
