I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
