I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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