It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
