it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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