So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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