this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
