i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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