Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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