Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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