You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
