we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
