Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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