just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
