I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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