Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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