in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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