what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
