I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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