He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
