we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
