i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
