just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
