how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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