I heard we made out
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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