I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
