All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
