You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
