Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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