I feel great
I just peed on a car
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
