We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
