I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
