I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
