Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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