I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
