it hurts more in the daytime
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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