I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
