you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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