i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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