walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
