Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize