Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
