I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
