Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
