another moral hangover. fuck.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
