Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
