Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
