i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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