My first STD was from a foam party
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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