remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
