Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
