like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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