I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
