Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
