You can't motorboat a personality
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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