I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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