Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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