Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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