if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize