it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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